You know the thing where someone starts listing all of the things they’re looking for in a romantic partner and you’re listening, thinking, Um you’re not gonna find ALL of that in ONE person. It’s ok not to be great at everything. In fact, you’re not a Chickenshit for not knowing how to be funny ...

And I—I took the road most traveled by.”—a Chickenshit poem. Chickenshits are notorious for being copycats in their marketing endeavors. They frantically rubberneck at all of their competitors and peers to see what they’re doing, what’s “cool,” and what’s being well-received. It’s like the saddest pied piper situation ever: a bunch of otherwise great businesses ...

Chickenshits like to use doomsday marketing tactics to induce shitty feelings and make their people feel worthless instead of wonderful. There’s a difference between addressing how a potential customer feels and their potential needs + desires....and preying upon their worst fears and self-perceived inadequacies. Chickenshit: YOUR YOUTH IS ESCAPING YOU AND YOU’RE ABOUT TO TURN ...

“No one understands me!” is the plight of the satirized “creative.” This tender-ego’d, ‘innovator’ who wants to make cool, epic shit that’s adored by the masses. Chickenshits are a lot like these green, insecure artists: they only think it’s successful if EVERYONE gets it. They stay up at night worried that if they make that ...