Oh shit, you’re thirsty.

Perhaps what unites us all is not having a great comeback for pushy, street salespeople who lead with questions like, “Do you care about clean energy and women’s rights and orphan orangutans and saving the neighborhood and also bees?” Cue: Yes, um, I do care, but I’m late for a meeting and, I actually donated Read more

Oh shit, you’re fixated on the wrong things.

We have a billboard nemesis in our neighborhood. We won’t name names, but it simply says, “America’s most innovative real estate company.” Every time we see it we howl mournfully like wolves at a distant moon. Among the many flaws (what is less innovative than standard, outdoor signage, for one?) this business let their ego Read more

Oh shit, you’re overly-formal.

There are loads of impressive statistics about how emotions influence consumer buying behavior, but since this isn’t the beginning of a 90s term paper, we won’t open with a stat. Now that the intro is over, though, here’s one. A few years ago, the most-shared post on The New Yorker was a humor piece. In Read more

Oh shit, you’re dated.

Hello 911? Yes, a major brand just used “bae” on a billboard. Please send someone as fast as you can I’m really scared. Nothing is more ineffective than businesses trying to seem “cool and fun” by forcing themselves to implement pop culture references and slang into their messaging. Many of us lived through the traumatic Read more

Oh shit, your language is cliche.

You know how when you were little and trying to get your mom’s attention while she was busy, you’d be all, “Mom. Mom. mom. MOM. MAMA. Mommy. Mooooom,” and somehow, despite your volume, she’d completely ignore you? That’s a lot like trying to speak to your customers with cliche, industry-tired language. Unless you’re in the Read more

Oh shit, you’re inconsistent.

In the cinematic classic, Man of the House, the title character Ben (played by none other than Jonathan Taylor Thomas), and his mom (the iconic Farrah Fawcett) collect beach trash, I mean, “found objects” for their evolving art collage. If you’re yelling GUYS, WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH HUMOR MARKETING? Thanks for the Read more