Gary here, dispatching my first spy mission. The client told me to stop calling it a spy mission but as my life coach always says, a little drama never hurt nobody. A bit about me: I’m 63, semi-retired, and finally following my passion of investigative detectiving. My personal hero is Joey Greco from Cheaters—some call him a ‘madman who got stabbed on a boat during a confrontation,’ I call him a hero.

I’ve been hired to follow around the founders of Obedient to see how they’re doing what they’re doing and why it’s working so well. I asked my teen son Dale to join me but he said no. I told him it would help me stay incognito if he got on my shoulders and we wore an XXXL trenchcoat but he just said no in an even meaner voice through a mouthful of Corn Puffs.

So here I am. Hiding in the bushes with some sweet binocs. The client told me that it’s annoying to abbreviate ‘binoculars’ but I told them that I won’t apologize for following my heart.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing everything I’m learning from spying on Obedient—my mission being to gather enough intel to put a stop to this humor madness. Or, as the client yelled at me during our first meeting, “How in the heck are these kids getting results out of FUN when this industry has ALWAYS thrived on predictability and fear?!!”

After that outburst he made me listen to his copy of Patsy Cline Live at the Opry to pump us both back up. He’s a nice guy.

Here’s hoping I do a good job on my first mission. My glasses/mustache combo is starting to itch and I’ve only been out here for 3 minutes.

Over and out, Gary, the rookie private eye