Gary here, I wrote a poem about my last day in the field because sometimes rhymes are the only way I know how to express myself. Here goes:
The day started out like the rest on my mission,
Woke up, grabbed my Crocs and some Tang from the kitchen.
Soon enough I was outside of Obedient HQ,
With my green, wide-ruled notebook and some spying to do.
I got out my binocs, and turned Steely Dan on,
Then saw them write “Up yours” as ad copy for tampons.
Nothing new there, I wrote, funny stuff is their thing,
Or as I heard Allie say once, “We add zeroes through zings.”
The day went on quickly, as I watched the team work,
And I spied and took notes with a near-constant smirk.
My boss had just pinged me on my Motorola pager,
And I called him right back to say, “Nah, nothing major.”
Then faster than you can say, “Dad, I hate your jeans!”
I noticed something written on an open computer screen.
It couldn’t be true, this would do my boss in,
If they brought their talents there, he’d for sure never win.
But as certain as my favorite book is the encyclopedia,
I learned Obedient was helping businesses use humor on social media.
With egg in my face and a tear in my eye,
I packed up my pizza rolls and bid my detectiving goodbye.
I knew in my heart the mission had come to an end,
But I’d like to think that I made two unsuspecting new friends.
Perhaps I’d dust off my resume and give Obedient a shout,
But for now, I’ll sign off—this is Gary: out.
Editor’s note: Gary is now our Security Guard (Or Insecurity Guard as he jokes) and he’s also our social media intern.