Chickenshits don’t know how to be funny

You know the thing where someone starts listing all of the things they’re looking for in a romantic partner and you’re listening, thinking, Um you’re not gonna find ALL of that in ONE person. It’s ok not to be great at everything. In fact, you’re not a Chickenshit for not knowing how to be funny Read more

Chickenshits won’t pivot

There should be a greeting card for business owners that says Congrats on your failure! AKA: Congrats on learning what doesn’t work…so you’re closer to finding out what does. Congrats on discovering that rejection doesn’t kill you. Congrats on realizing you’re actually NOT out of ideas. There’s a common expression that comes to mind here Read more

Chickenshits prey on people’s insecurities

Chickenshits like to use doomsday marketing tactics to induce shitty feelings and make their people feel worthless instead of wonderful. There’s a difference between addressing how a potential customer feels and their potential needs + desires….and preying upon their worst fears and self-perceived inadequacies. Chickenshit: YOUR YOUTH IS ESCAPING YOU AND YOU’RE ABOUT TO TURN Read more

Chickenshits are copycats

“And I—I took the road most traveled by.”—a Chickenshit poem. Chickenshits are notorious for being copycats in their marketing endeavors. They frantically rubberneck at all of their competitors and peers to see what they’re doing, what’s “cool,” and what’s being well-received. It’s like the saddest pied piper situation ever: a bunch of otherwise great businesses Read more

Chickenshits forget that fun = confidence

Chickenshits LOVE to, well, shit on things. That’s because it takes zero guts to be critical. It takes no creativity to pile on and be a hater. What does take guts? Having fun. Nothing denotes confidence like someone letting loose, laughing, having a blast. This is true of marketing as well, natch. So when you Read more

Chickenshits don’t think humor is worth it

It is claaaaasic Chickenshit behavior to be like, ACTUALLY, we are very serious experts so we’re just going to stick to stale, stuffy marketing thankyouverymuch. *Takes a sip from lukewarm tea.* These are the type of people who mistakenly believe that you cannot simultaneously gain authority and a have rip-roaring good time; who think that Read more